Jokes For Kids
Mac is God!
Mac to his mother:Do I look like God? If Women rule the world Imagine if women ruled the world ,there would not be a war,just a bunch of countries not talking to each other
Married Couple How can a stranger tell whether two people are married? Part of History A child told her mother: 'My teacher thinks that I'm going to be famous. He said all I have to do is mess up one more time and I am history!'
Only One To Answer Mother: Why are you home from school so early? Friend? A kindly lady went near a little boy on the beach, who stood with downcast head, and grinding his toes into the sand and looking very miserable and lonely Teacher Vs. Mother Summer vacation was over and Little Mac returned back to school. Poor Mom Teacher: 'How do you like your new home ,Mac?' Kids after 35 Doctor to a moron :Do you know a woman should not give birth after 35? God is not Deaf but... Two little kids were at their grandparents
School Bus Teacher :What is that big ,yellow thing which comes in the morning & brightens a mother
Tried my Best Normally when a doctor comes after a surgery & when a student comes after an examination, they have the similar things to say,'I tried my best but can't say anything right know.'
Poor Kid or Poor Dad! It takes me about 2 hours each day to finish my homework but it takes 3 if my father helps me.
Dangerous Lion A father took his little son to the zoo.They were standing in front of a lion's cage. He was telling how ferocious and strong lions are and the little one was listening it with a serious expression. In the end ,the boy asked 'Dad,if the lion breaks the cage & comes out ,can it eat you?' Teacher Knows Nothing Kid:I am not going to school from tomorrow. Talkative Girl A girl comes home with a note from her teacher and gave to her father.It says that the little girl talked too much in the class & disturbed others a lot. It also said that the teacher had a plan to stop & change her habit. First Day A little girl comes home from school. Her mother asked: 'Dear, so how was your 1st day at school?' Tricky No One day, little Mac asks his father , 'Did you hear about the stupid fool who keeps saying 'no'?' Who gets What? A little boy was not getting good marks in maths. One day he approached her teacher .He tapped her on the shoulder and said 'See,I don't want to scare you, but my father says if I don't get better marks next time, somebody is definitely going to get a spanking'
1st learning The first thing a child learns in the school is that his class-mates are getting more pocket money than he gets.
Whatever Mom Says A new kids comes to the class. After asking his name ,the teacher asked, 'What does your father do?' Common Enemy The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
Guy with Plus Sign A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. Neutral A neutron goes to a bar and when he asks for the bill, the bartender says,
Chemical Reactions Question: Write down two reactions when silver combines with carbon-dioxide. States of Matter Do you know different states of matter? So here is very interesting example of liquid state. We feel a cat should be put in a liquid category as like liquid it also takes shape of the container where it puts itself while maintaining the volume.
Mother:No,but why you are asking?
Mac:Oh! whenever I go to neighbor's house ,they say Oh God,here he comes again!
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Mac:Because I was the only one in the class who could answer a question.
Mother: Wow! What was the question?
Mac: Who set Miss Tina's dress on fire
' Don't you have anybody to play with? 'she asked sympathetically.
The boy shook his head forlornly, as he explained: 'I have only one friend,but I hate him!'
Only 2 days later ,his teacher called his mother to tell her that Mac was misbehaving.
'Wait a minute,' the mother said. 'I had Mac with me for 3 months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!'
Mac: 'Oh, I like it very much. I have a room of my own, each of my sisters has a room of her own. But poor Mom, she still has to sleep in Dad's room.'
Moron:Yes ,35 children are more than enough
'Yes, son,they are very dangerous?' the father said .
The boy asked with a worried look 'In that case ,what bus should I take home?'
Mother:Why
Kid: Our teacher knows nothing, she always keeps asking us everything
The other day the girl went back to the school with a note for her teacher from her father. It said,'Would request you to please let me know the plan too so that I can try it out on her mother.'
Girl:'1st day? Do you mean I've to go back there tomorrow too?'
'No,'his father replies
'Oh, so it's you.'
Kid: Whatever Mom says.
After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door.
For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report card.
The boy walked in with his report card -- unopened -- laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it, and to her amazement, she saw a bright red 'A'under the subject of MATH. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.
'Was it the nuns that did it?, the father asked. The boy only shook his head and said, 'No.'
'Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?'
'No.'
'The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?'
'Nope,said the son. 'On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy they nailed to the 'plus sign,I just knew they meant business
Mac